webmd isn't a real doctor

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack + You
When: W8D1
Medium: text
Security/Encryption: light unless specified further in a thread
Warnings: jack is a Lot

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hey cupcakes, handsome jack here (again)

super wish I could be posting a way more interesting personal ad for hired work but apparently that was "not Company approved" and "unprofessional". which is STUPID because I totally got work out of it just saying but whatever

not actually talking business today more just a general question. because see I am the absolute epitome of health like top tier standard but that hasn't quite been the case lately. kinda thought it was just aftermath from getting sick (which, whoever got me sick, you know who you are--you're an asshole) but not so sure anymore

anyone else been having migraines, nosebleeds, weird dreams, etc? the whole shebang of "don't search this because all the top results are going to say you're dying" kinds of stuff. not that I'm worried but seriously super weird. migraines I can kind of get but bleeding on another damn shirt is the last straw here. also the dreams I guess but those are just weird because I'm not a vivid dreams kind of guy but eh

so yeah do me a favor and let me know if you've been dealing with weird crap lately

man giving this a read this is like the most boring not-quite-email I've ever sent like holy crap what am I someone that wears a TIE

so ending question to spice it up or just keep me entertained while I watch two guys definitely considering whether they're going to stab each other (when did this become less entertaining? SAD) we've got some great new meshwork capabilities in case you haven't noticed so question of the day: top five emojis. bonus points for why. I'm seriously that bored like hey dumbass, just stab psycho mcgee already. cripes

anyways my picks: 💩🍆💸🔫🦄

Comments

text

[lefthandfree]

Shouldn’t you be consulting a doctor about this instead of looking it up through a search engine or asking the general public what it means?

[It’s not like Jack’s short on cash.]

My picks: 😏😫🔞💩✨
Why: self explanatory

text

[ofobedience]

Any stabbings to report, yet?

I like: 🔪 💣🔫👊🏻⚔️

[...he also likes the flowers, but isn't going to admit to that.]

text

[graftage]

yeah i've had that kind of stuff happen. thought it was just the remains of that stupid virus from before. are you saying it isn't?

also top five emojis: 🌱😏🔪🙃🌟

un; tsumabiki

[shikomizue]

Migranes can lead to stranger things than dreams.

Here's my list: 🌸🍶🍜🎆🎋 Now tell me something - whats the most interesting dream your pain addled mind has come up with?

text.

[unpromising]

🍺🍻🥂🍷🥃

[ that's it. that's the response. ]

[kirkwalled]

Haha Jack are you dying? I knew you were lazy.

🐶🐕🍕💰🔪

[whydogs]

You expose yourself to anything often enough and it becomes less meaningful.

Even the idea of two people stabbing each other.