overjoyed_net | webmd isn't a real doctor

Who: Handsome Jack + You
When: W8D1
Medium: text
Security/Encryption: light unless specified further in a thread
Warnings: jack is a Lot

hey cupcakes, handsome jack here (again)

super wish I could be posting a way more interesting personal ad for hired work but apparently that was "not Company approved" and "unprofessional". which is STUPID because I totally got work out of it just saying but whatever

not actually talking business today more just a general question. because see I am the absolute epitome of health like top tier standard but that hasn't quite been the case lately. kinda thought it was just aftermath from getting sick (which, whoever got me sick, you know who you are--you're an asshole) but not so sure anymore

anyone else been having migraines, nosebleeds, weird dreams, etc? the whole shebang of "don't search this because all the top results are going to say you're dying" kinds of stuff. not that I'm worried but seriously super weird. migraines I can kind of get but bleeding on another damn shirt is the last straw here. also the dreams I guess but those are just weird because I'm not a vivid dreams kind of guy but eh

so yeah do me a favor and let me know if you've been dealing with weird crap lately

man giving this a read this is like the most boring not-quite-email I've ever sent like holy crap what am I someone that wears a TIE

so ending question to spice it up or just keep me entertained while I watch two guys definitely considering whether they're going to stab each other (when did this become less entertaining? SAD) we've got some great new meshwork capabilities in case you haven't noticed so question of the day: top five emojis. bonus points for why. I'm seriously that bored like hey dumbass, just stab psycho mcgee already. cripes

anyways my picks: 💩🍆💸🔫🦄

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Oh. Bummer. Jack reads the stream of text messages that come in with a little excitement, but no worries. That's almost immediately crushed as Hawke elaborates that no, in fact, she didn't mean it that way at all. Jack absolutely sinks in his chair wherever he is, sulking, but it's fine. Totally fine. He can play it cool. ]

no was totally just confirming because you know. tingly. and whatever. and because don't exactly mind the whole kiss with a fist kind of thing to be super honest so yeah sounded kind of flirty

[ though "don't exactly mind" is an understatement ]

but we can agree this part of the conversation never happened right

[ Hey, at least Hawke feels better! She overexplained her awkwardness to the point it wrapped around to not being awkward. Hell yes. Hawke: 1, Life: 0. Suck it, life. ]

Can we go back to you calling me great?