webmd isn't a real doctor

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack + You
When: W8D1
Medium: text
Security/Encryption: light unless specified further in a thread
Warnings: jack is a Lot

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hey cupcakes, handsome jack here (again)

super wish I could be posting a way more interesting personal ad for hired work but apparently that was "not Company approved" and "unprofessional". which is STUPID because I totally got work out of it just saying but whatever

not actually talking business today more just a general question. because see I am the absolute epitome of health like top tier standard but that hasn't quite been the case lately. kinda thought it was just aftermath from getting sick (which, whoever got me sick, you know who you are--you're an asshole) but not so sure anymore

anyone else been having migraines, nosebleeds, weird dreams, etc? the whole shebang of "don't search this because all the top results are going to say you're dying" kinds of stuff. not that I'm worried but seriously super weird. migraines I can kind of get but bleeding on another damn shirt is the last straw here. also the dreams I guess but those are just weird because I'm not a vivid dreams kind of guy but eh

so yeah do me a favor and let me know if you've been dealing with weird crap lately

man giving this a read this is like the most boring not-quite-email I've ever sent like holy crap what am I someone that wears a TIE

so ending question to spice it up or just keep me entertained while I watch two guys definitely considering whether they're going to stab each other (when did this become less entertaining? SAD) we've got some great new meshwork capabilities in case you haven't noticed so question of the day: top five emojis. bonus points for why. I'm seriously that bored like hey dumbass, just stab psycho mcgee already. cripes

anyways my picks: 💩🍆💸🔫🦄

Comments

[lefthandfree]

You lost me for a second there, but I’m 100% on board with crazy straws. Those are the best. Bendy straws just don’t know if they want to be normal straws or crazy straws. That’s all.

And have you ever tried saying it’s just ketchup? I feel like that could pass, if it’s that mustard yellow you seem to like.

Now that you mention it though, yeah. Uh. Seems likely, as much as I hate to admit it.

[refactor]

fair point. glad we can agree that crazy straws are the legit version

dried ketchup looks different from dried blood. also half of it is appearance and half of it is not wanting to wash blood out of my clothes so that part wouldn't super helpt

why would you hate to admit it when it's just true like it's super obvious

[lefthandfree]

Yeah, but. Fancy artisan ketchup? Aged in oak barrels for optimal flavoring that leaves it darker and more steak sauce colored than usual?

You're right though. Doesn't help with the cleaning part so much. Maybe just hire a good laundering service then. Unless you're broke as hell.

And maybe because I'm actually friends with her and want the best for her, even if she wants a kid somewhere down the line and has no idea how to even hold it.

[refactor]

that sounds super weird so it's probably something qreshi do. ketchup's ketchup. but on the other hand totally would try it and it's probably actually good

anyways

think of the children james

or child in this case

if it gets left at the I don't know laundromat since that's the topic du jour you know who's going to go get it?? me