overjoyed_net | employment opportunity near YOU!!!

Entry tags:

employment opportunity near YOU!!!

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful

hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:

♚ bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
♚ taking bad people off the streets
♚ violence
♚ like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
♚ getting paid $$$$$

then you're in luck because I am taking RESUMES

since SOME of my contacts keep DISAPPEARING

I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall

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haha holy crap

that is way more metal of a response than I expected so nice and I mean that one. you rip out spines often? or is it just a good day today

you're a stick in the mud because you kinda talk like a robot buddy. like not beep boop 0011010 kind but stiff. I'm also at least 90% you don't actually know how to smile like for real

Not always the spine, but you know. Variety is the spice of life. Some days are more interesting than others, I'll admit.

I speak correctly, whilst it seems no one ever taught you about grammar and capitalisation. And come on now, I smile quite regularly.

[Just...you know...wrongly, and at inappropriate times...]

Edited 2017-01-11 15:53 (UTC)

eh well yeah that's always the case. sometimes I'm just doing paperwork (TODAY) and other times I get to go more on your line of work. no spine rippings though. I'm not that hardcore

sucks

anyways

I can totally use proper capitalization and punctuation when I want to, kiddo. It's just kind of a waste of time, one, and two? It makes me sound way more formal. You'll totally get the wrong impression of the kind of person I am if I'm typing like this.

because you gotta admit this style? way more me

You're missing out. And I can't say I regret being exempt from paperwork, that all falls to someone else. I live a charmed life, haha. I do dislike playing guard dog for the paranoid types who don't seem to realise they're too uninteresting for anyone to make a serious attempt on their lives, however (TODAY). It's beyond me how they ever get clearance in the first place. To keep them quiet and content, I suppose.

And you're right, of course. That style is far more you.

friggin honestly! you get all the play no work. or well the work that's basically play. you lucky dog

[ jack is probably laughing at his own joke here... ]

but yeah basically. squeaky wheel gets the grease and all that. unfortunately you're the grease. sucks. wish you had more interesting work because it's totally a waste

[Honestly, he's not entirely sure whether it's intended as a joke or just a discription. It's jack, so he's leaning towards joke, but who knows.]

I'll say.

Certainly a waste. Alas. But I suppose one can't have everything-- at least 80% of what I do is good fun.

see? totally fair. my ratio is like 20% in a GOOD month

It sucks to be you.

[look. he can do slang if he wants to. stick in the mud...]

it does! my life is so hard and full of tragedy etc etc

but! hey good job on using the word "sucks" because I can call that a step in the right direction. just yknow still got a ways to go but. good start

I'm so glad you approve. I don't know what I would have done, otherwise.

cried into your wheaties probably

you seem like a wheaties kinda guy

What is that? Some kind of food? I don't need to eat, you realise. I'm a cheap date. Haha.

[he can eat??? it's just...what's the point when you don't need to?]

seriously

are you sure you're not a robot because every time I talk to you I find more evidence for that conclusion

[Fuck you, he's not a robot.]

Well. In my experience robots don't tend to bleed, or possess internal organs comparable to those of a human, but then what would I know. Technology has come a long way.

figure of speech, gio. it's just. kinda weird?

do you even like food??

That's because you're human, and I'm something else.

I have no particular feelings about it.

yeah but you're like MOSTLY human. I think. close enough for me to go what the hell how can you be neutral about food as a general concept

I don't know. I suppose my base DNA is human, but it's been augmented to the point where that hardly matters anymore. I've never thought to ask. If you're that interested in specifics perhaps you should have taken it up with Professor Einstürzen when you had the chance.

[Not bitter. Not bitter at all.]

Look at it this way. If you don't feel hunger, why would you care about food? We're encouraged to eat regularly at the Kennel, something about routine and making us feel more tied down to reality, whatever that's supposed to mean. I've never really seen the point, myself.

[Though perhaps if Jack ever tasted the bland, indiscernible food they're given, perhaps he'd understand it better.]

[ The bitterness and dislike had been implicit from the first time they'd talked, and it wasn't exactly hard for Jack to guess why. He just also chose to ignore it, more often than not, because he's personally pretty satisfied. Angelica was a messed up bitch, that was for sure, and that's why he'd bothered to whisk Heine away. Heine was the one that Jack knew. He knew there were others, but it'd never really crossed his mind to extend the same hand to them.

But when Giovanni is blunt (or close enough to it), that gives Jack some pause. It's not exactly guilt that gives him pause, and in fact it's nothing of the sort. It's more akin to curiosity. He sits back at his desk and reads over the message a few times, and it makes his usually speedy replies falter. When he responds, it's also pretty well encrypted. ]

Indulge my curiosity here for a second. You say it doesn't matter, and yeah, maybe it doesn't. But do you really feel that way, or are you just giving me lip service here because it's what you're trained (or whatever) to do?

[It's as close to blunt as Giovanni gets, at any rate, more inclined towards vagueness and side-stepping as he is. But still, it surprises him when the question comes, and if there'd been a delay in Jack's response, Giovanni's is longer. In truth, the answer isn't easy to discern, the two - whether it really doesn't matter to him or whether he only feels this way because it's what he's been conditioned to feel - isn't something that can be easily separated out.

That's the problem with having been abandoned to his fate whilst Heine was released from it. Things had been different, once. He hadn't wanted this, and what was done to them had only filled him with terror and misery, back then. But it's a part of him now, branded down into his bones.

He could answer the question in a whole host of ways, but the one he gives is likely to be disappointing. He doesn't want to discuss this with you.]

I don't know what you mean.

yeah was kinda worried about that

Different question. Bet this one's easier. Going out on a limb here and guessing you want me dead. You're not great at hiding that kinda stuff hence the smile comment earlier. It's semi-creepy but you're not the first so no big. Relatively. I mean you can't, so I'm not worried. But. Why?

Edited (more arrogant) 2017-01-18 18:56 (UTC)

[The delay is longer this time. The fact is, he thought he hid it well enough (he always smiles like that, okay), and to learn otherwise is a little disconcerting to him. That, and irritation anger dislike flare whitehot, both at having it laid out so plainly and the unsubtle reminder that his hands are metaphorically tied. He can't easily kill Jack without being put down himself, and that complicates things. That, and his conditioning is just too strong.

So there's a pause where he thinks about brushing it off or not answering at all, but perhaps the distance created by text makes him bolder ultimately, because eventually he responds with--]

Heine.

[ The answer isn't a surprise in the slightest. In fact, the only real surprise here is that Giovanni answered him at all, but it doesn't mean Jack can respond easily. He's been careful on this subject, because even if he's still unfalteringly sure he'd done the right thing, he can't speak to it. It never happened, and Heine escaped completely on his own. Because a Company man like Jack letting assets escape would be more than a slap on the wrist. It's not as if people didn't know it, like Giovanni here. But they could never prove it. ]

Yeah, I know the kid. But if you're pissed at me for that, that kinda doesn't make sense. So far as I heard? Kinda his choice to get the hell out.

[Likewise, Jack's response is entirely anticipated-- it'd be an act of stupidity to admit to anything here, and Jack never has struck him as anything less than intelligent. He can't be, to have managed the things he's done. Least of all having stolen expensive (dangerous) equipment and got away with it. That doesn't make it any less frustrating, and once again Giovanni is reminded of just how securely his hands are tied.

The use of present tense here is something, 'I know the kid', but not nearly enough to cast aspersions on Jack's name. At least, none that would stick. Particularly not coming from a glorified attack dog such as himself.

More than that though, it's the rest that gets under his skin, opens something black and ugly in him because kinda his choice to get the hell out-- there's no way he could have succeeded on his own, but it's more than that. There's some truth in it. Heine always had talked about getting them out. Them. Plural.

And yet.]

You know him. That's interesting, considering what the official reports have to say. And perhaps it was his own choice, but you saw how we were kept back then. There was never a chance of him making it out without assistance.

But no matter. Call it jealousy, if you will. Even a dog can perceive favouritism, Mr Marten. Haha.

Besides. Saying I want you dead isn't quite fair. As if I would think such a thing.

[And there's truth in that. He doesn't want Jack dead. he wants to be able to kill him, himself.]

yeah I know him. whyyyy wouldn't I? like I dunno about you gio but it's pretty obvious to me that any time you get the hell out of dodge in the quad, you go to the rac. you're untouchable. so super wasn't hard to find him once he was a part of it.

[ Even in text, there's a tone of "not that I could do anything about it at that point," but that's a lie. Jack had been the one to arrange all of it, to even make sure that Heine was put in the RAC instead of having to go to the tunnels. If you were a tunnel rat, they could find you. If you were with the RAC, the Company couldn't do shit.

But to the rest... There's a pause, though not a very long one. ]

whoever got him out of there is probably dead now anyways. but hell unless they were a total douchebag I'm going to guess that they didn't just pick one of yall and then go "screw everyone else I'm out." that'd be a dick move?

hell I don't know I'm just shooting the shit with you here

but if you're jealous that's fair. like who wouldn't be?

(no subject)

ofobedience - 2017-01-22 20:00 (UTC) - Expand

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