employment opportunity near YOU!!!

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful

---

hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:

♚ bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
♚ taking bad people off the streets
♚ violence
♚ like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
♚ getting paid $$$$$

then you're in luck because I am taking

since SOME of my contacts keep or I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall

Comments

[inksplashes]

[ Though Jack can’t see it, Lavi has his hands raised, palms open and wide, the universally recognized symbol for “don’t shoot me” on the off chance that Kanda comes back to hear the conversation. ]

He tolerates me and will definitely kill me.

[ He’s not laughing, he’s dead serious, pun intended. ]

Let’s just call the whole thing off, save it for an extra special occasion! Y’know, when I’m not in the Quad anymore. Like that sorta special.

[refactor]

Pffft, and here I was, havin' faith in you for coming through on, uh, the best birthday ever?

[ Jack is definitely still laughing, since that deadly serious tone just makes it all the funnier. He should probably be afraid of Kanda, and he even probably knows that, but. Jack also likes to dance on the razor's edge with a lot of things. ]

But fine, if you're backing out, way less fun. Officially called off, got it.

[inksplashes]

Thank you.

[ Never before has a man sounded so devout in his gratitude before this moment. They will write epics and sonnets about the good of Jack's graces as bestowed on Lavi this day.

A heaved sigh, relief washing over him. His unseen hands lower, no longer needed to guard him (because hands are clearly great at stopping bullets, right?) ]

I should let you go before you try talking me into more bad ideas. Thanks for the laugh though, and I'm sure Yu will...eventually...forgive you!

[ Never before has a man sounded so full of shit. ]