overjoyed_net | employment opportunity near YOU!!!

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful

hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:

♚ bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
♚ taking bad people off the streets
♚ violence
♚ like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
♚ getting paid $$$$$

then you're in luck because I am taking RESUMES

since SOME of my contacts keep DISAPPEARING

I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're building resentment.

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I won't be of much help now, but do you take rainchecks?

yep. ain't gonna be making friends when you're running processing for a prison though so that's aokay with me

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absolutely. technically speaking this is ALL about rainchecks because at the moment don't have a pressing need for something/someone in particular. what's your specialty?

Isn't that a bit lonely? Even street rats have each other.

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First of all, I'm a killjoy. We'll have to work around a lot of things, but that's nothing new to you.

Should you run into troublesome prisoners, my abilities may be of use.

My blood has nanites. It tends to work badly with people who have modifications, and people who have regenerative capabilities. Their bodies tend to see my blood as an intruder. I am curious as to how far I can push it depending on the person.

My only condition is that they cannot be someone from Westerly. I'm rather fond of this town, you see. Shithole and all.

nope! because luckily not EVERYONE is disagreeing. who wants to be friends with everyone anyways? even a few people is totally better than everyone trying to hop on your dick

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ooooooh that sounds fun. consider my attention officially caught and my wallet open.

in theory anyways. because totally get the caveat there with the "where" buuuut most of the peeps that come through are from westerley. we get people from the rest of the quad sometimes, but it's a bad ratio. but. makes it all the sweeter because giving the uppity assholes from the rest of a quad a special welcome is pretty awesome

so yes. interested. what's the name so I know who to contact next time I get a lucky and nasty leithian?

Well, of course. You'd need them to watch your back, too.

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Giorno.

And it is precisely because of that ratio that my condition stands. [ does that make him sound like a hero? a wannabe saviour? perhaps. as far as he's concerned, however, there are some things that he finds intolerable in this town, and it is therapeutic to set limits on certain, abstract things that are part of a larger, more intricate fabric in their rather short and furious lives.

he remembers that he is only level 1, for now. for now. ]

Thank you for your understanding, Handsome Jack.

exactly. mutual backwatching and everyone's happy

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no problemo giorno. hey just watch your back if you're with the killjoys. they don't take kindly to "extra" work because of that whole no loyalty crap but personally side jobs don't count as loyalty in my book

but hey. I like your work? I've got connections. can totally cover for you at least to some extent

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I know. I hold the rather unpopular opinion that one has to live for something other than the warrant, even if the warrant is all.

What happens when you have nothing else left for you beyond that? It's a situation I cannot entirely accept. You've held more people behind bars than I can probably think of counting; you know exactly what men who have nothing more for themselves look like. They're not limited to the ones in prison, or in Westerley itself; I guess the ones with the power and joy are much better at hiding their tracks than most.

I suppose that'll be the grave I've dug for myself. But until I'm given a reason to change my mind, I maintain that I can care for my town and for the warrant. I'm not so weak that I'd doubt my ability to hold onto both until that time comes.

[ does it matter to giorno that his brand of justice is vengeful? not exactly. ]

[ At his desk, Jack definitely breathes out a soft 'huh' as he reads, but it comes with a growing smile on his face. That's an interesting point of view, and it's not one he exactly sees from Killjoys. He doesn't dislike them, and hell, he admires them to some degree. But if more of them were like this guy?

Well, he certainly wouldn't have any complaints about that. ]

Well, you're getting me to switch to something a little more formal, because that? That is what I like to hear. I get why the RAC does things the way they do and they serve a purpose, but I've never been a fan of the no allegiances thing. Everyone's got one. Squashing it might as well make y'all robots. I would say no offense, but clearly there's not gonna to be any taken here.

So, y'know, you bring up all of that, and I've got to ask. What do you think about the Accord?

Right, and as an aside? The RAC ever kicks you out, gimme a ring. Seriously. That's the kind of purpose that I always have room to hire.

Now, now, Handsome Jack. You need to be at least a level 5 on the Friendship Scale if you're going to be asking me loaded questions such as, "What do you think about the Accord?" You can probably take a stab at the answer if you want; picture me giving you the equivalent of a smile and a nod.

And really, I'm not disobeying the RAC entirely. "No allegiance to anyone but ourselves" - that, too, is my code.

I'll hold you to that offer, however. An agent's got to keep his options open.

Smile and a nod's all I'm really asking for, but if you gave me more? Hey! Great for me. It's a point of interest of mine, so consider it a standard interview question. Also one that's way more useful than crap like "describe your weaknesses."

Think the RAC might consider that a bit more gray area, and ironically, they don't seem to like gray area. So. Option's wide open.

Also a pointless question. Would've gotten you nowhere very quickly with me, for one.

I don't want to be too critical of the RAC when they put joy in my life and bread on the table, but: we like greys. We just want them on our own terms. I happen to be a problem child, but I'm sure I'm not the first. I try to be cautious about it anyway.

Ha! Fair enough. Cocky, but hey, if you're being cautious? We'll just call it confidence instead. Anyways, you find more of those problem children, just point them my way and I'll see what I can do.

Otherwise, good chat. Knew this would catch SOMEONE'S attention even if like 95% of the replies have been smartasses

at least it's kinda funny though

You entertain them well enough. I suppose that's reason enough to reply.

And it gives me a good look as to which ones from my side of things pays attention in public.

true that. I'm a super entertaining guy but damn at least do better than trying to play stump the chump with the master. but. whatever! don't need to bore you with that because your observation is more interesting there

just to clarify what do you mean by paying attention exactly? just seeing who's shitposting right back at me or something cooler?

That. Among other things. I like to pay attention, whenever I can. Some people you can only encounter by text.

You're not so interesting that I can't pay attention to everyone else. [ cmon jack. ]

please! I am SUPER interesting. but I will at least concede that paying attention to other people is easier through text so fair enough

employment opportunity near YOU!!!

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