employment opportunity near YOU!!!

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful

---

hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:

♚ bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
♚ taking bad people off the streets
♚ violence
♚ like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
♚ getting paid $$$$$

then you're in luck because I am taking

since SOME of my contacts keep or I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall

Comments

[cauterised]

Probably because of the overuse of 72 point font and glittertext.

Are you expecting all resumes to be in the same format?

[refactor]

nah overuse would be using it for pretty much every word which I did consider but I figured that was excessive

they'll get bonus points for making me laugh but nah normal boring resumes work too

[cauterised]

I'd applaud you for your restraint but I'm sure you'd give me a reason to rescind it soon enough anyway.

Good luck with your candidates. Try not to get them killed too soon.

[refactor]

pffft maybe but at least it would take like a few minutes

thanks. all joking aside I don't plan to. a lot of my disappearances and deaths were because of that crap with the "true leithians" or whatever they call themselves. would have definitely preferred to not lose em but only so much I can do in that regard

[cauterised]

You could offer compensation for their grieving widows.

Though that might be more incentive to die rather than less.

[refactor]

oh well yeah

I'm not a monster? Course the widows get pay if the guy (gender neutral here) dies. disappeared? ehhhh that one's a harder sell because not up for dealing with fraud but

yeah if there's something I can do in that first case I try to

[cauterised]

That's kind of you.

[Not sarcasm, for once. But back to business—]

I like my current job [well, it pays well at least] but if you need anything I'll see what I can do.

[refactor]

try to be. people don't really get my style no surprises there but I look out for my team(s)

sweet! no need to come transfer to the facility (been there, done that, know it sucks) but you keep an ear to the ground for what's up, I'll appreciate it. kinda an underappreciated part of the job but nothing like getting a scumbag coming through the facility like putting together info on where they're hiding etc

or I mean if they're close or just ~special~ I'll get em myself but that's extra credit