employment opportunity near YOU!!!

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful

---

hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:

♚ bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
♚ taking bad people off the streets
♚ violence
♚ like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
♚ getting paid $$$$$

then you're in luck because I am taking

since SOME of my contacts keep or I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall

Comments

[bittybat]

Bold people can also be idiots.

I don't take offers without going through a broker to settle the terms. You'd be stupid to accept offers from people without seeing their qualifications first hand.

[refactor]

trust me by the time I'm seriously considering someone? I know all their qualifications. I'm bold but I'm not an idiot kiddo. course I'm not going to share HOW I know the qualifications because that's a secret but

trust me

way ahead of you there

unless you're talking about yourself in which case, whatever. bonus of rac? I give your people a good offer (or the company does, whatever) y'all don't really refuse it. that's the bonus of neutrality at least so far as I'm concerned

[bittybat]

No one is going to do a business transaction with you when you scare them off with your terrible taste in music.

[refactor]

hahaha holy crap are you still mad

wait wait

u mad

(that's a meme kiddo)

[bittybat]

[END HIS SUFFERING NOW PLEASE]

No one cares about your stupid memes! You'll never get respectable, reasonable inquires when you act like an idiot. No one is going to take your seriously.

[refactor]

yeah says you grandpa

what if I told you I already have interested parties

who am I kidding you wouldn't believe me but sub-point: who said I WANTED respectable or reasonable

[bittybat]

You would have to muddle your way through them, and you don't want to do that. You want someone who will accept the terms and complete the job that way it should be done.

Anything not respectable or reasonable wouldn't get you what you want.

[refactor]

ok that's kind of a fair point but I kind of meant reasonable or respectable as people not in terms of job skills which are pretty different things

I could cite my sources but you're like five so I'll tell you when you're older

[bittybat]

I'm TEN, and I'm old enough to not give a damn about your sources!

[refactor]

okay generally speaking I would say that's friggin stupid because sources matter but

if I say that I'd have to explain so yeah totally kiddo

[bittybat]

Don't make excuses just because you don't have any examples of the sources you claim to have.

[It's okay to challenge Handsome Jack, right.]

[refactor]

I mean I do but if I share them you're gonna be more annoyed that you know than your blissful ignorance here