employment opportunity near YOU!!!

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful

---

hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:

♚ bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
♚ taking bad people off the streets
♚ violence
♚ like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
♚ getting paid $$$$$

then you're in luck because I am taking

since SOME of my contacts keep or I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall

Comments

it's... it's jack... i'm sorry

[refactor]

YOU'RE TOTALLY WELCOME AND CLEARLY YES I DID BECAUSE NOW YOU GET IT

SOMETIMES THE WEIRD METAPHOR IS THE ONE THAT MAKES IT MAKE THE MOST SENSE

NOT THAT FARTING IS WEIRD BUT THAT'S JUST THE FIRST THING THAT CAME TO MIND THERE FOR THINGS YOU COULD BE NOSEBLIND TO

[slotted]

IT ISN'T BUT IT'S SOMETHING PEOPLE DON'T USUALLY TALK ABOUT

[refactor]

CITATION NEEDED

BECAUSE LOOK BEFORE THE SECTOR MANAGER THING I WAS AN ENGINEER AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS IS A POPULAR POINT OF CONVERSATION

LESS IN THE MANAGERIAL HALF BUT THOSE CONVERSATION TOPICS ARE WAY WORSE

[slotted]

WHY WOULD YOU TALK ABOUT THOSE KINDS OF THINGS

[refactor]

BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY? LOOK INAPPROPRIATE WORKPLACE JOKES IS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP YOURSELF FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE FROM ALL THE BROKEN BULLSHIT YOU'RE ON THE HOOK TO FIX

GENERALLY SPEAKING HERE BECAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS A LOT TO FIX. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE JOB IS

[slotted]

YOU HAVE A STRANGE SENSE OF HUMOUR

[refactor]

THAT'S TRUE

BUT

THIS IS NOT THE STRANGE PART OF MY SENSE OF HUMOR BUCKO. THIS IS NORMAL?

[slotted]

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE ACTUAL STRANGE PART IS, THEN

[refactor]

NOPEEEEE YOU SURE DO NOT

SCUMBAGS COME UP WITH SOME PRETTY MESSED UP STUFF LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY. WORK'S NEVER BORING