employment opportunity near YOU!!!

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful

---

hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:

♚ bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
♚ taking bad people off the streets
♚ violence
♚ like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
♚ getting paid $$$$$

then you're in luck because I am taking

since SOME of my contacts keep or I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall

Comments

[refactor]

what

why would that be a surprise??? of COURSE they would pay me mad joy

[impulsors]

just sounded like if you had anything else to brag about, you would've thrown it up in the ad

[refactor]

see there's the problem

I've got SO MUCH to brag about that I'm in trouble of running into the character limit here? like did you even know there was a character limit because there totally is. found that one out when I was describing

you know what nevermind

point being I'm not about to buffer overflow this post and get IT crying to me like "wehhhh jack you're so great and handsome and you broke our systems bawwww"

simple

[impulsors]

[ silence.

silence.

silence long enough for a particularly frail mayfly to hatch and breathe and die, for tides to turn, for faces to wither into stone and be forgotten.







or, you know, time enough for handsome jack to pick his teeth, check a convenient reflective surface and realise that yes, he's even more attractive now than he was ten minutes ago. same difference. ]

are you a joke?

[refactor]

obviously not. but look I get it it's not often that you stand (so to speak) in the presence of greatness so it's a little overwhelming

also, would like to point out that every time someone asks that I give the same response and it's "rude"

[impulsors]

trust me. it's not obvious.

how long have you even been with them?

[refactor]

wait what like the company?

uh... since I was 18 I guess? crap idk as soon as I could buddy I was ready to be a company man from the moment I realized I pretty much had to

[impulsors]

"had to"?

[refactor]

yeah? like look dunno about you but MY family is definitely on the hook of the seven generations crap and I'm lucky number six so definitely wasn't going to throw that away

and y'know they're the only ones worth doing anything tech with so that helped

okay so gotta toss a question back then because yes??? duh??? what do you do / where are you from. either or because I'll kinda get the idea either way

[impulsors]

huh. guess i forgot about that.

rac. from westerley.

[refactor]

yeah figured. only people that shit doesn't super matter for are either rac or assholes from the rest of the quad

rac are aight though

not exactly loyal but aight

[impulsors]

loyal to what? the people who run qresh and everything around it without having to answer to anyone?

[refactor]

loyal to anything honestly

like y'all do the neutrality thing which is cute but it's totally a money-making scheme to max out just who they can get joy from without pissing anyone off

I mean in theory because it still pisses people off but usually isn't the rac that get their asses kicked for it

[impulsors]

so they're neutral. sounds a lot better than buying into a cause that doesn't need help.

[refactor]

I mean I could get on a soapbox here about how keeping neutral is a waste of a life

I won't

but I could

[impulsors]

i didn't ask

[refactor]

you IMPLICITLY asked

duh

also kinda forgot to ask but was there a point here or are you just bored out of your friggin skull at work too

[impulsors]

not really

to both of those. the whole post was just really bad.

[refactor]

and yet you replied anyways

[impulsors]

well yeah

it's kind of a bad sign if the company's that desperate for people.

[refactor]

see I'm DEFINITELY not acting on behalf of the company don't confuse that part

I work for them but this? this is just my own initiative. course if I do anything that pisses off higher ups too much I'll get a slap on the wrist but eh

I've got a way of doing things and they don't care enough to interfere