refactor: (he's such a Dumblewhore)
a dorito with a goatee ([personal profile] refactor) wrote in [community profile] overjoyed_net2017-01-08 05:26 pm

employment opportunity near YOU!!!

Who: Handsome Jack and YOU
Medium: Text
Security/Encryption: none on the original, high in responses
Warnings: it's jack so it'll probably get awful



hey kiddos handsome jack here

which first of all if we're not acquainted, sup. there's a pretty good chance you know who I am since I mean I kind of make a point of that but if not? all you need to know is that I'm (one of) your resident sector managers for the prison intake facility. go do your homework if you don't know who I am. or actually no scratch that go ahead and tell me because if you don't know who I am CLEARLY I need to kick someone's ass. notoriety is the name of the game when you're keeping scumbags in line etc

but as much as I am all for talking about my favorite subject (if you're short a few brain cells and don't get the implication there, it's me) I am actually sending out a general message here for a reason

DO YOU LIKE:
bringing order to the shithole that is westerley
taking bad people off the streets
violence
like seriously if people end up with some serious injuries not my problem
getting paid $$$$$
then you're in luck because I am taking

since SOME of my contacts keep or I'm super needing to refresh my proverbial rolodex here. rac, info brokers, super hot babes, you name it, I'm (probably) looking for it. I shell out for good work so if you think you've got a service to provide make a pitch

serious offers only, do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers, etc

or do I don't give a crap it's a boring day and I have time to burn

edited to add some color thanks for the suggestions always open for constructive feedback yall
eleutheron: (47)

[personal profile] eleutheron 2017-01-17 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
True enough. But how often do you walk the streets of Old Town? How often do you do the dirty work yourself, rather than hiring it out?
inksplashes: (it's a sweet butter knife)

[personal profile] inksplashes 2017-01-17 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
If Yu cried over something, it'd probably be someone else getting to kill you first.

[ Stated with absolute cheer and a matter of fact ring all at once, Lavi laughs brightly before the truth of the statement dawns on him.

Ha ha...ha... ]


But I'll try to convince him to save the arts. Think I can get that printed somewhere?
tropism: (pic#10540665)

[personal profile] tropism 2017-01-17 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Now, now, Handsome Jack. You need to be at least a level 5 on the Friendship Scale if you're going to be asking me loaded questions such as, "What do you think about the Accord?" You can probably take a stab at the answer if you want; picture me giving you the equivalent of a smile and a nod.

And really, I'm not disobeying the RAC entirely. "No allegiance to anyone but ourselves" - that, too, is my code.

I'll hold you to that offer, however. An agent's got to keep his options open.
deceptions: (last examination.)

[personal profile] deceptions 2017-01-17 07:18 am (UTC)(link)
then you're subjectively wrong.



i didn't know you were the type to want dick pics
[ Why are they having this argument, why is this still encrypted ]
inksplashes: (There's no residue of a torturer)

[personal profile] inksplashes 2017-01-17 07:55 am (UTC)(link)
You're such an optimist, Jack.

[ More nervous laughter here. Lavi suppose that it's true Kanda would be on the look out for the warrant, but..

Nah, lets him go with his silver-lining interpretation. ]


Oh yeah? Lemme guess, you changed jobs because there were too many dudes and not enough babes.

[ Clearly that's the important part and Jack meets a ton of babes at Prisoner Intake. ]

I mean, he does have a birthday coming up, I feel like that would make a great present. You could put something like, "Love - Handsome Jack" at the bottom just so he knows you were thinking of him.

[ Actually, Lavi has no idea when Kanda's birthday is--neither of them grew up in a familial setting to celebrate--but it's bound to be within the next 365 days, so that's not a lie. ]
ofobedience: (pic#10505390)

[personal profile] ofobedience 2017-01-17 11:42 am (UTC)(link)
What is that? Some kind of food? I don't need to eat, you realise. I'm a cheap date. Haha.

[he can eat??? it's just...what's the point when you don't need to?]
eleutheron: (14)

[personal profile] eleutheron 2017-01-17 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
You could always switch careers.
ofobedience: please do not take (pic#7763977)

[personal profile] ofobedience 2017-01-17 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[Fuck you, he's not a robot.]

Well. In my experience robots don't tend to bleed, or possess internal organs comparable to those of a human, but then what would I know. Technology has come a long way.
eleutheron: (4)

[personal profile] eleutheron 2017-01-17 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Where to, exactly?

[ Fenris can't even conceive of moving beyond where he is. Not yet, anyway. ]
eleutheron: (26)

[personal profile] eleutheron 2017-01-17 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Westerley is a hot mess, no doubt about it. A hydra of troubles, to Fenris's mind; cutting off one head seems only to spawn three more. He's not sure anyone is capable of changing that. ]

Do you have your eye set on the entire Company? What will you do if you achieve your ends?
ofobedience: please do not take (pic#6904234)

[personal profile] ofobedience 2017-01-17 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
That's because you're human, and I'm something else.

I have no particular feelings about it.
tropism: (pic#10540666)

[personal profile] tropism 2017-01-18 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
Also a pointless question. Would've gotten you nowhere very quickly with me, for one.

I don't want to be too critical of the RAC when they put joy in my life and bread on the table, but: we like greys. We just want them on our own terms. I happen to be a problem child, but I'm sure I'm not the first. I try to be cautious about it anyway.
inksplashes: inksplashes | do not take (You dance on a tightrope of weird)

[personal profile] inksplashes 2017-01-18 06:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ He's heard something about that rule before, but it's not one he's particularly had to worry about. (It's easy to bypass that when you're a duty-bound virgin, alas.)

Still, he has to keep up the act, so he echoes Jack's laugh, rubbing anxiously at the back of his neck. ]


The crazy ones are so much more fun, though.

[ He assumes. That said, Lavi has a sense of self-preservation so he's going to quickly retract this birthday planning before Yu actually kills him. ]

Uhh--that's a good idea! But.. also I don't want to die, so maybe let's just stick with the gift?

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